Drowning in Shoulds

In a mother’s mind, there’s a voice that never shuts up.

You should wake up earlier.

You’re already behind. The day hasn’t even started and you’ve failed it.

You should be doing more before everyone wakes up.

You should be one of those women who has routines, structure, discipline.

Your child should sleep better.

You’ve probably created this problem.

You should fix it.

Quickly. Quietly. Without complaining.

You should be more patient.

You should not feel annoyed.

You wanted this.

You should make more money.

You should contribute more.

You shouldn’t be dependent.

You shouldn’t be struggling.

The house should be cleaner.

The laundry should already be done.

The floor shouldn’t feel like this.

When did it get this messy?

You should be cooking proper meals.

Not “just getting through.” Not survival food.

Real mothers manage this.

You should be less on your phone.

More present. Always present.

Absorbing every second like it’s sacred instead of exhausting.

You should be exercising.

You should be healing your body.

You should be bouncing back.

Why haven’t you bounced back yet?

You should be grateful.

You should not feel this tired.

You get to stay home.

Other women would kill for this.

Your baby shouldn’t watch screens.

You should be doing sensory play, language development, attachment work, emotional regulation, gentle structure, consistency, calm tone—

You should never yell.

You should never lose it.

You should always know what to do next.

You should be enjoying this.

Everyone says this is the best time.

But you’re counting hours.

You’re counting mess.

You’re counting what you didn’t do.

You’re remembering everything you were supposed to be before this:

Organised.

Soft.

Patient.

Energetic.

Grateful.

Easy.

Instead you are:

tired, overstimulated, touched-out, behind, and still being asked for more.

And still—

You’re expected to call it love.

To call it blessing.

To call it enough.

Maybe the problem isn't that you're not doing enough.

Maybe you've been carrying far more than anyone was ever meant to.

If you're feeling overwhelmed by the constant pressure to be everything for everyone, please reach out. You deserve support, too.